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No one ever intends to end up in a long distance relationship. But let’s face it. Things happen. In this fast-running, rapidly globalizing world we live in, it’s more and more common for people to move around. Jobs, family and school. All of these things can make a relationship go long distance. I've heard a lot of people proclaim they will never be in a long distance relationship. They just couldn’t stand it. They would be too jealous, sad or busy to make it work.
But when it comes down to it, most people don’t want to give up that special someone. They decide that it’s worth it. And it usually is. But make no mistake. Being in a long distance relationship is no cakewalk. Trust me, I’ve been in four! That said, my experiences have taught me a few essential ways to make long distance work, and make it worth it.
Without ado, 5 recommendations on making long distance relationships work (successfully):
#1 Open and honest communication I will say right now. If you and your partner struggle with communication ‘in-person’, long distance probably isn’t for you. It is absolutely essential to talk openly about all of your anxieties and tensions in regards to the relationship. Chances are your partner will be able to perceive any discontent, and if it goes unaddressed, it could be detrimental to your relationship. Talk! Talk about your fears, worries and joys. Sharing is caring after all.
#2 Explore your long distance sexuality
Now for the fun part! As we all know, sex is an important part of any romantic relationship. Just because you’re not in the same room, you don’t have to stop enjoying your sexuality with your partner. Enjoy teasing each other via text message or email. Send lusty letters. Let them know you’re thinking about them. Explore mutual masturbation via Skype or phone. This may take some getting used to, but it’s just one fun way to maintain an erotic spark from miles away.
#3 Schedule Skype or phone dates
Think of this as a long distance date night. If you schedule a time or times in a week that you know you will talk to each other, you avoid one of the great pitfalls of long distance relationships. Although it’s perhaps a bit unpleasant to reflect on, when you’re in a long distance relationship, you are leading a very separate life from your partner. You each have your own separate work and social obligations, and this can make it difficult to prioritize your talking times. When you schedule a time, you avoid infringing on each other’s immediate lives. This eliminates what could be a potential source of stress in the relationship.
#4 Find creative ways to stay in touch In this modern world, it’s easy to rely on email and chat as our number one ways of communication. I recommend branching out. Write letters. Send each other things that remind you of your love. If you can’t have your partner with you, it is important to have physical reminders of your relationship. How about actual snail mail packages? Love letters, sealed with a kiss might sound cheesy, but do you remember the last time you received one? It was pretty sweet, wasn't it?
#5 Trust your partner
A classic downfall of any long distance relationship is lack of trust, particularly when it manifests as jealousy. It is difficult to adjust to seeing your partner’s life only as they describe it. Despite this, you must trust that they are being honest and open with you, or you may risk the stability of your relationship. Talking more and noting your jealousy is a great way to start getting over it. When your partner reassures you they'd never do anything to break your faith--trust them!
As difficult as long distance relationships are, it is important to view them as an opportunity to strengthen your emotional bonds. Explore new, fun ways of communication and sexuality! Of course, the dynamic of each relationship is different. So it’s difficult to give specific pointers. However, these 5 general steps can go a long way to prevent the dissolution of your romance over a few silly miles.
Remy Gainsbourg is the newest GetLusty staff writer, with a special interest in long-distance relationships. When Remy isn’t writing for GetLusty, she’s usually holed up in a café designing intricate design projects, running around Chicago or Japan with a camera in hand. When she’s not doing those things, you can find her having a darkroom development marathon, or researching sexuality and gender relations around the world. Remy is an avid erotica and sex advice reader and an erotic photography connoisseur. Questions, comments or feedback for Remy? Get in touch with her at reply@getlusty.com.
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