Kissing can be a really big turn on. It's an essential component of foreplay! Want to have better foreplay and sex? Improve your technique and see how it impacts your overall love life! Are you kissing the best and sexiest? Eric Amaranth is here to talk about kissing better.
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Recently, I was reminded of one of the most important mindful-based skills in good kissing: not letting your saliva overwhelm your partner. This is particularly common in men because often with visual sexual attraction and turn on, he starts salivating excessively. There are moments when this is okay, but also it can be a big turn off for women.
Looking back at my experience, this was one of the things I’ve been unconscious of in the past and have been called out on. I’ve heard women I’ve not been involved with mention it, too, based on their own experience.
Be mindful of your saliva
However, this extra salivation is a good sign. It means he’s viscerally into you. How many times do we hear the female desire for a man to be into her? This is one of those biological signs. I’ve heard some sex educators strongly advocate forms of sex where abandon and control has been thrown to the four winds and it’s all animal. There’s nothing wrong with that, but what is not taken into account is timing and where a given woman is with that sex mode. Does she crave that or only when she’s on the same page?
Most of the time, you have to be slightly removed from tear-her-clothes-off mode so you can monitor your saliva output. You'll swallow some here and there while you’re making out, particularly in the beginning. It may change over into her wanting to non-stop roll tongues all over during some hot missionary. It may not.
This brings me to one of the advantages of being with a partner long term is you find out their nuances. It’s the reason I give to the contrary, during discussions with people who say the first sex is always best. This reminds me of Tantra books I’ve read in the past where they encourage couples to reach a place where they are freely flowing with saliva, hers and his. To see it as drinking the other person in. It’s also a goal to work toward to rid one’s self of sexual barriers and repression of fiery forms of sex. There is truth to those words. I agree with them. However, for many that’s more easily said than done. It is a more advanced form of sexual mindset and enjoyment to be built up to and enjoyed in time. Chemistry is also an issue here. When a woman loves the way her man smells and tastes, this is much easier. That’s one thing the Tantra books left out. The relevant science of mating. You know, the more a woman loves his smell, the more varied their immune systems are. So that if they make babies, they’ll be stronger due to genetic diversity. I can imagine so many marriages happening when arranged marriages happened. When the first time couples were sexual was on their wedding night. They could forget about breaking up, “Because we didn’t have chemistry.” Be excited you have the choice.
Overall, reviewing her body language could gauge how much and talking could be a great way to find the most seductive way to kiss. What’s interesting is how it can be an art to intermingle kissing skills with penetration sexual skills to the greatest effect.
Originally posted at Sex Life Coach NYC.
Eric Amaranth is a sex life coach, working in NYC and globally via video conference, who specializes in women’s and men’s sexuality, basic to advanced sex skills, and high-end sex education. Individuals and couples are guided toward the relationship, intimacy, and sexual enjoyment goals they desire most. Amaranth believes that for the majority of people, appreciation of ourselves and our romantic partners is one of the best sustainable resources we have to continuously renew attraction, maintain respect, and stay in love with our partners. This bedrock of deep appreciation is founded and reinforced by the combination of loving relationship skills with breathtaking sexual skills. Follow him on Twitter @eric_amaranth.
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