Going On About What Gets Us Off

Do you know why certain things get you off more so than others? Have you ever reflected on why you like being spanked or tickled? Well our GetLusty funny man, Ryan Lathrop, is here to tackle those very questions!

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Sex is at the same time the most simple and most complicated part of human life. Sex resides in the intersection of primal instinct, emotional and mental health, and societal expectations. It’s BDSM month here at GetLusty and it got me thinking, why is BDSM a thing? Really why is anything in the bedroom a thing? It makes about as much sense as The Cleveland Show still being on the air.

Sure there are all sorts of factors that contribute to this, but there really is no sure fire reasoning to explain it all. It’s a bit like comedy in that way. A lot of comics fear talking about why something is funny fearing that once it is explained, then that polished dick joke will lose it’s magic and no longer become funny. If you have ever known someone who described a comedy (or most of the videos on YouTube) with "I don’t know, it was just funny,” then you know what I am talking about.

I wonder if this idea leaks over into our sex lives. Growing up, biting was something the weak kid did during a fight. As an adult it’s become foreplay. Spanking was one of the worst punishments that could happen to you as a kid. But as an adult there are people who love getting spanked and quote Oliver, “Please Sir, I want some more" in the process.

I imagine it’s not often we think about why we like what we like sexually. I believe for a lot of us, sex is a lot like going to a restaurant with a foodie, “oh well that’s actually pretty good” or seeing the first film of a superhero franchise. You don’t care how they got there you just want to see them put on some latex and see things explode. This could be read as not being sex positive but that’s not really the idea of it, it’s about sex reflection. The kind that doesn’t involve websites and closed blinds. There are various factors that contribute to why people like what they like. Some are known and then there are others that get boiled down to, because it just feels good.

I propose while it might not be pretty, maybe we should reflect more on our sexual likes and interests and why they are what they are. You never know, it might help you discover some new ones, or at very least it might give you a better understanding of your sexual self. Do as the great poets did, drink some wine, (or do some opium if you prefer the Victorians) and reflect on your sexual life. If that does nothing, drink more wine and read more GetLusty- the wine won’t be the only thing giving you a flushed feeling.

I will leave you with a annotated quote bent to fit my purpose. People do that with the Bible all the time, so it only seems fair.

There are three methods to gaining wisdom. The first is reflection, which is the highest. (This is what I advocated, so gold star for me!) The second is limitation (Example: the positions that I assume contortionists use.) which is the easiest. The third is experience, which is the bitterest. Anyone who has said, "Oh I am sorry, this has never happened to me before" knows this one too well. -Confucius


Ryan Lathrop is a comedy nerd who moved to Chicago to dive head first into comedy. Having most of his sexual firsts with hippie ladies has caused him to be very open talking about sex, sometimes to the annoyance of his more conservative (sexually not politically) friends. His expertise is from whatever he can remember from his Human Sexuality class, the web, the Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast and his own sex life which is more of a sexish life. He's into choking in the bedroom not because he's kinky but because he has sleep apnea. Follow him on Twitter @nerdyviking. 

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