We love showcasing individuals helping couples end boring sex. Dangerous Lily is doing just that! She's a sex blogger and educator, and we think she's making waves. So we asked her several questions about her current projects. Check out her bio and the full interview below.
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More about Lilly
Lilly is an eclectic sex blogger who blogs about anything ranging from relationships to sex toy education, throwing in the occasional racy self-portrait or brutally honest sex toy review and topping it all off now and then with OpEd pieces that sometimes turn into rants. She means well though, bless her heart. In addition to blogging on Dangerous Lilly, Lilly is the creator of e[lust], a monthly publication of blogger-submitted posts on everything about sex & relationships. Find her on Twitter @dangerouslilly.
* How did you get into sex blogging?
I was searching for weeks for a more reliable recommendation or description of a few sex toys that I was considering purchasing.
My prior 6 purchases had been major disappointments and the sites just didn't offer up the type of descriptions that I really needed. My search led me to eventually find a sex blogger who seemed to be just like me, except that she reviewed sex toys. She happened to own the items I was considering and I was able to ask her exactly what I needed to know. Back in 2008, sex toy reviewing wasn't at the over-saturation level that it is now. I wanted to review sex toys for the others like me out there; I also grabbed the opportunity to blog about my sex life and sexuality. It was very liberating for myself and my relationship.
* What's your favorite kind of porn?
My favorite porn tends not to be considered porn. I prefer true amateur stuff, the "home movie" variety, the self-shot girls. Tumblr is my gold spot these days.
* Why do you see a need in having great sex?Great sex, and orgasms, release all sorts of happy, healthy hormones and chemicals in your body. Sex is good for your physical and mental health, whether it's partnered sex or solo sex.
* What, in your opinion, are challenges you see couples are facing today?
Society and the status quo. Too many people are too influenced by what they feel fits in with society's preset mores and standards, be it beauty or what you do in your bedroom or what your sexual preference is. Too many people think that if a man likes prostate play, he must be gay.
Too many people think that sex toys shouldn't be necessary, or they are intimidated/offended by them. I've talked to a number of men and women who are afraid to bring sex toys into the bedroom - it seems to be more prevalent in heterosexual, cis-gendered couples. The women are afraid that the man will feel like a sex toy is a personal insult to him, his performance, his penis size. The men are afraid that the woman will end up preferring the sex toy to them.
* How do you measure success?
Happiness and comfort.
* What's next for you over the next 6-12 months?
I would ultimately like to start making a living doing something sex-positive. I've been dipping my toe into being a consultant for smaller sex toy companies on things like business practice, social media, PR, affiliate programs, etc. I'd like to do a lot more of that. Anything, really, that involves spreading the word about sex toy safety and sex toy material education, sex positivity, sex toy positivity is totally my bag.
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