Female Orgasm: True or False?

Orgasm is the ultimate in sexual enjoyment. Sometimes we think it's the be-all and end-all of sex. While it's enjoyable, it's not necessary to orgasm every time. At GetLusty, we think sex is about pleasuring yourself and your partner. Orgasm can be an excellent release, so we wanted to share information about it. We'll start with the female orgasm. This is a guest post by Searah Deysach, owner of Early to Bed. Early to Bed is one of the foremost women-owned sex toy stores in Chicago. Over the next several months, GetLusty will help organize several awesome upcoming events there.

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Wondering whether your lady has had an orgasm? Here are some truths and false statements about the female orgasm.

Vaginas get wet when a woman is turned on. 

TRUE

Except for when that isn’t true. Women can be turned on and not get super wet, women can get wet and not be super turned on. So while the conventional wisdom is that wetness = sexually aroused, that equation is not 100% accurate all the time. Remember that this does not mean that wetness is considered a sign that a woman has had an orgasm.

There is one way to “give” a woman an orgasm. 

FALSE

Every single woman on the planet is different and responds to sexual stimulation in her own way. There is not a guaranteed toy, trick, gel, drink, herb, patch or technique that will work for each woman. It is TRUE that a majority of women like/need direct clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, but the actual type of stimulation varies and is not necessary for every woman.

Female ejaculation is real.

TRUE

Yes, female ejaculation is real and women can ejaculate when having an orgasm, but LOTS of women have fantastic orgasms without ejaculating.



There is one way to know a woman has had an orgasm. 

FALSE

The only real way to know is to have you partner tell you that she has. Some women make loud guttural noises, and some are quiet and silent when they climax. Some squeak. Some laugh. Some cry. Some yell. Some just smile.

And yes, some even lie about it. You will never truly know if your partner has had an orgasm unless she tells you. And she might not do that unless you ask her.

I suggest not jumping in right after you come and saying, “Did you come huh, huh? Did you have an orgasm?” Instead, maybe ask her gently something to the effect, “Was that nice? Do you want a little more attention anywhere? Can I keep pleasuring you?” Alternatively, ask her when you are not in the sack, “Soooooo.. I was just wondering cause I can’t really tell from your body language, but do you have orgasms when you have sex/fuck/make love?”

I know that can be an awkward question, but if you really can’t tell if she is having an orgasm, it's actually a really nice thing to do. And if her answer is, “No. I don’t," then a great follow up question is, “Oh, sorry... What can I do to help that happen for you?”.

Conclusion

Talk to your partner about sex! Be a generous lover and communicate your desires, questions and needs. And women - tell your partners what is going with your body. It is hot and people like knowing you are feeling good when they touch/stroke/tickle/fondle you right there.

Searah Deysach is owner of Early to Bed. She's been committed to informing Chicago about sex and love for over a decade. She's written for and been featured in numerous publications on the topic from Chicago Now to WBEZ, MsBehaved, Chicago Reader and beyond. She also lectures frequently on topics related to sex and sexuality. Follow Searah on Twitter as @EarlyToBed, Subscribe on Facebook and follow her blogs on the Early to Bed Blog.

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Stay Fresh: 6 Tips to Maintain Vaginal Health

Oh, the vagina. We love you! From female orgasms to nicknames, we recognize that vaginas come in different sizes, colors and shapes. Hey! We even wrote an ode to the vagina. But let's talk more about vaginal health. What creates an environment for better vaginal health? What about douches? Luckily, staff writer and resident Lori Ritchie reports with 6 tips for maintaining and improving your vaginal health.

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Most women don’t think much about vaginal health but it’s a critical part of every woman’s overall well-being. Vaginal-related health problems can affect fertility, desire for sex and even the ability to reach orgasm. A healthy vagina hosts beneficial bacteria known as lactobacilli. It’s these bacteria that prevent other organisms from infecting the vagina and also assist in maintaining the vagina’s normal, mildly acidic environment (pH level).

Discharge: normal or not?

It’s normal for the vagina to have a slightly pungent odor and occasional small amounts of clear or white discharge. During a woman’s ovulation period, this discharge amount may even increase for several days.

Unhealthy vaginal discharge may cause an unpleasant odor and be accompanied by burning, itching, or irritation. The cause of these symptoms can be varied. Diagnosis by a medical professional is needed for appropriate treatment in this case. Women experiencing discharge accompanied by severe abdominal pain, painful urination, or a fever should consult their doctor immediately. We even have a whole article dedicated to vaginal discharge including a chart so check it out here.

The following preventative maintenance tips will help women keep their vagina in the best working order:

#1 Avoid scented or anti-bacterial washes

Anti-bacterial soaps can upset the natural pH of the vagina that your body naturally produces, causing yeast infections. Stay away from feminine hygiene sprays, douches, and deodorants. It’s even a good practice to opt for unscented (non-bleached, organic if possible) tampons. An alternative is the Softcup or Mooncup as these don't cause Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) and are more natural alternatives. But if you can't stand the sight of your own blood--tampons it is.

#2 Urinate after sex

Make it a habit to urinate following intercourse. This practice flushes your bladder of any bacteria introduced into your system during sex which helps in the prevention of urinary tract infections. Also, remember to wipe front the front to the back following urination. When engaging in analingus or anal play of any kind, take precautions to not bring UTI-causing bacteria into the vulva area by wiping in a front to back motion.

#3 Know what goes next to and near your vagina

Wear panties with cotton lining to allow your vulva to “breath.” Consider wearing no panties at night (or sleeping naked). Avoid tight-fitting clothing. Change out of sweaty workout clothing or wet swimsuits as soon as possible. Along these lines, don't douche. Douching can introduce new bacteria into the vagina which can spread up through the cervix, uterus, and fallopian tubes. Research has shown women who douche regularly experience more vaginal irritations and infections such as bacterial vaginosis, and an increased number of sexually transmitted diseases.

#4 Medications

Prolonged use of antibiotics can make women susceptible to yeast infections because these medications can kill the good bacteria that keep yeast under control while battling the bad bacteria causing illness. Probiotics are a bacteria similar to the normal bacteria that live in the body and can be found in some organic yogurts. These types of yogurts can be used as a supplement during antibiotic treatment. Spermicide and vaginal ring birth control products can cause vaginal irritation. Certain antihistamines may contribute to vaginal dryness.

#5 Condoms and toys

Condoms, while helping to protect you against pregnancy, also help keep your vagina clean. Having unprotected sex often can lead to vagina problems as well as the obvious pregnancy and STDs. Consider using polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms. They’re a little more expensive, but the material tends to be less irritating than latex for some women. Remember to change condoms when switching from oral or anal to vaginal intercourse. Always clean sex toys after each use.

#6 Regular pap smear

Regular check-ups by a medical professional (ie. a gynecologist) are the best way to ensure vaginal health and early detection of vaginal-related problems. Don’t let embarrassment hold you back from discussing any concerns with your physician.

This a post by staff writer Lori Ritchie. We're so glad to have Lori join us from sunny southern California. Lori Ritchie is a Registered Nurse and freelance writer living in Southern California with the love of her life and two beautiful children. Lori enjoys using writing as a platform for teaching. When Lori isn't tied to her computer or iPad, she enjoys traveling and fine wine. Questions or comments for Lori? E-mail editorial@getlusty.com.

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