Showing posts with label men's health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men's health. Show all posts

Why Cancer Didn't Stop My Sex Life

Cancer: That dreaded word everyone fears. Unfortunately, a lot more people suffer from this disease, in some way, than let on. Luckily, cure rates have gone up and life continues forward for most of us. Although it affects us individually, our relationships can suffer and so can our sexual encounters. But if we remain aware of the potential affects and how to remain close to our partners, we hope to foster more love during tough times. GetLusty writer Martin Good shares his personal journey (full of humor) with testicular cancer and what effects it had on his sex life.

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Can this really be happening to me?

That’s odd – a small lump on my right testicle. Where did that come from? Off to see the urologist.

So when he told me it may be cancerous – although he couldn’t confirm without a biopsy – I started to freak. I could see the color draining from my wife’s face as he explained the process/procedure to us. We have both lost spouses to cancer and the pit of our stomachs continued to get bigger with every passing minute. Well, it needed to be done – so off to the Operating Room.

Yes – I said, Operating Room – the OR – surgery. Most biopsies involve small incisions and taking a piece of the tumor for analysis. Not so simple for this I’m afraid. (Here comes the gross part) The process to determine if a testicular tumor is cancerous involves a 2-3 inch incision in your abdomen. They go in and reach down through the top of the scrotum and pull the testicle back up and out. As it lies on your stomach, a portion of the tumor is removed and immediately analyzed. If it is cancerous – the entire testicle is removed – on the spot.

This all happened in one day. Moving at the speed of light, we didn't have time to think about the ‘what if’s’. We never had time to really ask questions – hell, we didn’t even know what we needed to be asking. The furthest thing from our minds was what this would do to our sex life.

One boulder short of a full load

I woke up in Recovery and vaguely remember the urologist telling us, “it was cancerous, and we got all of it.” He was sending me to oncology for follow-up treatment. So there you have it: I had cancer and now only 1 testicle. In the week following surgery, the questions started to fill my mind. Some internet research told me I have nearly a 100% chance of recovery – however I did not find any discussions on what this would do to our bedroom antics – if anything.

The first couple of days felt like I'd been kicked square in the nuts – a feeling every guy knows well. My scrotum had turned into a gigantic bruise – complete with all the pretty colors. As the colors faded, so did the ache. On about day 4 I felt relatively normal again.

Other than the obvious question (is the cancer beast gone?), I didn’t know if my plumbing still worked. On about the 5th day after surgery I took matters into my own hands and found out. Yes my plumbing still works. Whew!

Is it time for a nap yet?

My oncologist is really cool. He is very open and honest, with an incredible sense of humor. I had a 99% recovery rate after 3 weeks of daily concentrated radiation treatments.

Side effects: nausea, diarrhea, loss of hair around the radiation site, possible impotence and fatigue. We had a very frank discussion about sex and he assured me that the radiation treatments would not give me radioactive semen and would not have any glowing effect on my wife. Providing the incision was healed and I felt up to it, we could safely resume our normal sexual adventures.

Everyone responds differently to radiation treatments, but for me it wasn’t so bad. Nausea: Prescription meds made it a non-issue. There were only a couple of times when I had some minor problems. Diarrhea: Over-the-counter stuff took care of any issue ‘down there’. Impotence: not an issue for us. 10 kids is enough. Fatigue: This killed me. I wasn’t a walking zombie or anything like that, but I could easily take a nap anytime and anywhere. When the lights went out at night, so did I. This was probably the biggest issue impacting our sex life – I was just too tired.

There is sex after cancer

So every day for 3 weeks I drove an hour, roundtrip, to the clinic for 3 minutes worth of radiation pointed at my groin and abdomen. Spent 8-10 hours at work, ran the kids to and from wherever they needed to go, and then got them to bed (Mama works afternoons). By the time 10pm rolled around, I was done. You want to have sex tonight? Umm, okay. Wake me when you’re ready. My wife was very understanding, and very patient. She was also not afraid to take matters into her own hands, which, as it turns out, was quite an adrenalin boost for me, usually ending the way we both wanted and needed.

It’s been 9 months since surgery and treatment. Radiation related fatigue has long been gone and the plumbing works like it should. Sex is back to being incredible. What about the fact that I'm now lopsided? I’m one fry short in my happy meal. My wife and I have always been very open about sex and nudity, so this was not an issue for us. From day 1, she has supported me and we have laughed about it on numerous occasions. (Oh yeah. That one testicle fits in that one hole quite nicely. Something you guys with 2 might have a little trouble with. Try it.)

Nothing has changed – she still likes to hold the ‘little one’ when we go to bed and cuddle. I had no idea that so many jokes could be twisted around to fit my ‘one-sided condition’. You have to laugh. It happened, it’s fixed, life goes on.

Just remember, avoid the Almond Joy bars – stick with Mounds.

Born and raised in Mid Michigan, Martin divides his time between coaching community baseball, Boy & Girl Scouts, and working for a large computer company. His wife of 10+ years is his rock and soul mate. Sexual get-a-ways, escaping for the weekend, or just plain locking the bedroom door are common in our relationship. Being a father of 10 kids (yours, mine and ours), there isn’t much he hasn’t seen or been a part of. “Our children are taught, by example, that a successful relationship is based on trust, respect, and communication – with a healthy dose of passion thrown in. As the children get older, we are also very open about sex. Sex-ed in school does very little for my kids.” In his free time, Martin likes working on his mini-farm and writing. The erotic fiction he writes for his wife has never been seen by another set of eyes, but maybe someday that will change. You can email Martin at daddygooseof8@gmail.com.
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Gents! 3 Must Read Books on Your Sexual Health


Just in time for Dick & Dildo December, gents! You eat properly, get plenty of rest, exercise. Well, your sexual health is just as important—not just for you, but also for your partner. We’ve researched extensively of the best men's health books out there by well respected doctors. These books offer sound advice on everything from increasing sex drive to those other not-so-fun topics that many men have dealt with, but never felt comfortable talking about. Pick one of these books up and have your questions answered. Reading is sexy. Healthy is sexy. Therefore, GetLusty's Stephanie Vanderwall brings you 3 great books to keep you sexually tip-top healthy.

Any other questions? Ask us at reply@getlusty.com.

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#1 Men’s Sexual Health: Fitness For Satisfying Sex

By Barry W. McCarthy, Ph.D. and Michael E. Metz, Ph.D.

Men’s Sexual Health is a breakthrough book about vital and satisfying male sexuality. It presents a new model of male and couple sexuality, which establishes positive, realistic expectations of pleasure and satisfaction, as opposed to the self-defeating traditional demand for perfect intercourse performance.

The authors introduce the new “smart thinking,” focused on an integration of mind and body, which confronts the myths and misunderstandings that limit male sexual growth. The book will help men and women understand how to pursue sexual and relational health as well as overcome sexual problems, with the goal of greater acceptance and satisfaction.

Diane Sollee, founder and director of smartmarriages.com urges: “Women, buy this book! Obviously for the man in your life—after all, its goal is to help him achieve a lifelong, intimate, erotic sex life—but, also to read it yourself. Its straightforward, by-men-for-men approach will give you an inside track, and help you know him, and therefore, love him even better.”

"Men's Sexual Health: Fitness for Satisfying Sex is a remarkable contribution to the field of sex therapy. This book should be on the bookshelf of every sex health and sex education professional. This book is great for adults and older adults, but I get even more excited when I think about giving it to young men who don't have sexual problems yet. The tone is reassuring, and the stance is non-judgmental, but decidedly not wishy-washy. The authors take important positions on a number of topics. Men's Sexual Health is destined to be a classic.” –Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., in Contemporary Sexuality

#2 Coping With Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner & Have Great Sex

By Barry W. McCarthy, Ph.D. and Michael E. Metz, Ph.D.

It is estimated that 30 million American men have problems with premature ejaculation. This book contains the latest, scientifically based, multidimensional methods for overcoming all types of premature ejaculation and includes a complete relapse prevention program.

Coping With Premature Ejaculation explores a multidimensional, bio-psychological approach to dealing with this problem and strengthening your sexual relationship. This book debunks the myths of male sexual performance and analyzes male sexual desire. In it, you’ll learn about the different types of premature ejaculation and use assessment exercises to find out which you suffer from. The book then offers structured, symptom-specific treatment strategies based on psychological, relational, and physiological techniques. Find out ways to prevent relapse as well as enhance and improve your overall sexual relationship. Designed as a resource for couples, this book is a powerful tool for creating support and positive change in your relationship.

Jean D. Koehler, Ph.D., former president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) lauds: “This is the most comprehensive guide to dealing with premature ejaculation I have ever seen! It addresses subtypes, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral components, medical issues, relapse, and the ever-important influence of the couple’s relationship on the cause and cure of this disorder. Drs. McCarthy and Metz have not only done a great service to couples experiencing this problem, but to sex therapists as well. I will definitely recommend the book to my clients and will incorporate its exercises in my treatment protocol.”

“This is an excellent, easy-to-read self-help book which is unique in that the treatment recommendations are individualized. Upon opening the book and reading the first pages, one immediately knows that two master therapists, with years of experience treating sexual problems, wrote this book. In a nutshell, this book is a gem.”
—Robert Segraves, M.D., Ph.D., author, Sexual Pharmacology, professor of Psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University, and editor, The Journal of Sex and Martial Therapy

“I can't say enough about this book. It's well written and takes you through the different types of PE problems. It also gives you ways to solve the PE problems. My wife is very supportive and I think this book has brought us closer together because we talked about things we haven't talked about before. There are great "couples" sections in this book to discuss. Through doing the exercises in the book I've gone from 2-3 minutes to 30 minutes in about 3 weeks time. Really, really AWESOME!!!” –Very Satisfied Amazon Reader

#3 Penis Power: The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health

By Dudley Seth Danoff, M.D.

In this revolutionary guide to male sexual potency, urological surgeon Dr. Dudley S. Danoff talks candidly to men and their partners about the topics they are often too embarrassed to discuss with their doctors. Dr. Danoff debunks common myths about male sexual anatomy, including questions about penis size, stamina, and libido. Drawing upon case histories from his thirty-plus years of medical practice, he presents detailed information and practical solutions regarding issues that affect most men at some point in their lives, including: erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, performance anxiety, sexually transmitted diseases, prostate and testicular cancer.

In chapters like "Maximize Your Penis Power," "How to Become a Superpotent Man," and "What Women Need to Know," readers will learn how to extend sex, delay ejaculation, and boost confidence in the bedroom--banishing stress and making sex a better experience for both men and women. Penis Power is a user's guide to the male anatomy and the male mind. It's essential reading to anyone who has a penis or loves someone who does.

Leo A. Gordon, M.D., associate director of surgical education at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center describes Penis Power as “a probing and entertaining analysis of the mysteries, legends, and misconceptions surrounding the organ that has preoccupied the world ever since Eve bit the apple!”

Joe Weider, bodybuilder, fitness guru, and publisher of Men’s Fitness magazine called it, “a must read for all men who care about their physical and sexual health.”

“Particularly if you are a guy, this is a must read; it should be required reading at some point in our human development. Like it or not, the connections between our penises and our brains are an essential fact of our being; I am now convinced of that. Dr. Danoff speaks to us in a way that is easily understood, drawing on thousands of case studies in his practice. This book could save many guys (and perhaps women as well) thousands of dollars on drugs, procedures, and psychotherapy.” –Amazon Customer

Speaking of sexual health, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? Have you followed us on Twitter yet? We're @getlusty there. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, too!




Stephanie has long believed she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She is a lover of good food, good sex and good grammar. A recent transplant to Chicago, she spends her free time with her super-duper-fly boyfriend and their three "kids" (2 cats, 1 dog). She has a blog she writes in every so often. She's still trying to get the whole Twitter thing down, but you can follow her @Vanderfloozie. Want to get in touch with her? Email stephanie@getlusty.com.
You have read this article books / erectile dysfunction / fitness / libido / men's health / penis size / premature ejaculation / satisfying sex / sexual health / stamina / STDs with the title men's health. You can bookmark this page URL https://moviereelmania.blogspot.com/2012/12/gents-3-must-read-books-on-your-sexual.html. Thanks!
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