Interview! Stefanie Iris Weiss Talks Making Sex Green

Here at GetLusty for Couples, we like to be positive influence on your relationships and sex life, but we're also into the whole "green" movement. What do sex and the environment have to do with each other? Well, if you use condoms, lubricant, or sex toys – then they have a lot to do with each other. The production of these kinds of items can be harsh on Mother Earth. Our Chief Lust Officer, Erica Grigg, talked with Stefanie Iris Weiss, of EcoSex.net, about "green" sex. Also, check out her Eco Sex book on Amazon!

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#1 What are the basics of Eco-Sex?

Eco-Sex is a new way of raising consciousness about sexuality and its connection with the planet we share. In a world where we tend have more intimacy with our smartphones than our partners, the reminder to slow down and reengage with our sensual selves is mandatory. Eco-Sex teaches us that our bodies are sacred, and thus, we should not poison them. In both courtship and beyond, the do-it-yourself (DIY) tools, products, therapies in the Eco-Sex arena are safe, healthy, and good for the planet as well as our bodies. Raising our consciousness can raise our libido, and that's the happy end result of engaging in Eco-Sex.

#2 What got you into Eco-Sex advocacy?

In 2008 I started to realize that even my "greenest" friends were eco-conscious in every way, but not in their sex lives. I'd ask about lube, birth control and sex toys, and they hadn't even thought about what was in them. I realized that because we think of sexuality as something separate from ourselves, these needs were buried, hidden and obscured. It was embarrassing, even for my most progressive friends. I decided I needed to write a book to address that -- to bring two of my favorite topics, sex and sustainability, into the same space. That's how Eco-Sex: Go Green Between the Sheets and Make Your Love Life Sustainable (Crown Publishing/Ten Speed Press, 2010) came to be.

#3 What are your favorite sexy, "green" toys?

I'm obsessed with the mind-blowingly brilliant (and body-safe) toys from Jimmy Jane. All of their toys are gorgeous and free of toxins, and designed in-house by Ethan Imboden -- the man knows what he's doing. I've also been liking the offerings from Lelo lately.

#4 How are you spreading the word about Eco-sex?

I do workshops, talks, radio interviews, blogs and Tweet (I'm a pretty prolific tweeter). I write for Huffington Post (lately, political writing about the war on women and reproductive rights). I can be found online at ecosex.net, and my Twitter handle is @ecosexuality.

#5 For those looking to go "green", what adult retailers do you advocate for?

Big love to Babeland in NYC (and Seattle), Good Vibrations in San Francisco, and Smitten Kitten in the Midwest. Also the ever-lovely (and beautifully dirty) girls of Coco De Mer across the pond.

#7 Does only using eco-friendly products limit how much fun couples can have in the bedroom?

Absolutely not! That's the most beautiful benefit of Eco-Sex – it improves your sex life, heightens your libido, and can bring the spark back to couples whose bedrooms have become bastions of boredom. There's nothing like making organic massage oil together, experimenting with the wonders of coconut oil, tantra, etc.. Use your imagination.

#8 Besides being good to our mother earth, does eco sex have any benefits to our sexual or physical health?

Yes, it just makes you healthier. A big piece of Eco-Sex, and a chapter in the book, is dedicated to healthy eating. Vegan, raw, and sustainable aphrodisiacs bring a whole new dimension to one's sex life, but also helps you avoid obesity, diabetes, heart attacks, etc.. More energy is good for everything in life – not just sex.

More about Stefanie

Stefanie Iris Weiss, MA, is the author of nine books, including her latest title–Eco-Sex: Go Green Between the Sheets and Make Your Love Life Sustainable (Crown Publishing/Ten Speed Press, 2010). Based in NYC, she writes about feminism, sexuality, reproductive rights, sustainability, dating and relationships, and more. Stefanie is a regular contributor to British Elle, and has written for Nerve.com, The Daily Green, Marie Claire, Zink Magazine, and Teen Vogue, to name a few. Her new sex & sustainability column, Above the Sheets, debuted in ABOVE Magazine last fall. Her website is ecosex.net.

Stefanie holds a Master of Arts in English Education from New York University. Since 1998, she has been an adjunct professor in New York City (at Hunter College and Marymount Manhattan College). Stefanie leads writing workshops for both teens and adults. In 2008 she was a mentor for Girls Write Now, an organization that connects professional women writers to teenagers seeking mentorship in writing. Find her on Twitter and subscribe to her on Facebook.

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Sex Positive Parenting: 3 Common Questions & Answers

It can be hard enough to maintain a healthy sex life with your significant other, let alone having to teach your own children about it too. Sex can often be an uncomfortable topic for parents to talk about with their children, but it doesn't have to be. Being sex positive isn't just about being OK with sex and sexuality. Teaching your children a healthy view about sex can keep them from being sexually assaulted (imagine if they don't know what's appropriate and inappropriate?). GetLusty staff writer and mom is here again with some common questions and answers on sex positive parenting.

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#1 When should I talk to my kids about sex?

My motto is to talk to your kids as soon as they start asking, because that means they are interested and starting to pick up on life. Usually this happens around 8-10 years old, depending on your child, but some questions may happen sooner. You have to decide when the appropriate time is to explain certain things depending on how mature your child is.

My twins are about to turn 11 in January and they've pretty much asked about most things like periods, sex, how do people have babies, etc. Plus, they see plenty on TV and hear many things at school from other kids. However, when my four year-old asked me what my breasts are, I just told him they are part of my body because it's hard to explain biology and sex education to a child his age. When all else fails, use your judgement.

Also, if you do feel it's time to talk to them, but don't know how, you might want to refer to a few websites (we love Airial Clark of the Sex Positive Parent) for reference and GetLusty will continue to have more articles especially for sex positive parents. My preference is just to be straightforward and natural. Don't feel embarrassed. It's a normal part of life, and as parents it's our job to teach our children about it and we should do it in a positive manner so they don't grow up thinking sex is something bad or unnatural.

Sexual violence is a big problem in our world, so it's best to start teaching our children about sex while they are young. Sexual violence also starts early, so ensuring your kids know what's appropriate and what's not appropriate for them and others is essential. This was also noted by Maria Falzone, sex educator and comedian, in our podcast with her.

#2 Should I monitor what my children watch?

I used to think I didn't have to monitor what my children watched because, as a parent, you want to look at your children as innocent little angels. The truth is - they are not. They are human and naturally curious. I learned this the hard way one day when I logged into my Netflix account and reviewed the history of movies viewed. This is when I discovered that my son had been watching some swanky movies here and there.

I talked with him and let him know that it's not appropriate for his age and asked him why he had done it. He said he didn't know. Obviously, he was curious and that's pretty normal for his age. However, my point is that it's best to teach and educate your kids about sex as best as you can. Otherwise, they will be learning about it from the media, and the media might not always instill the same values that you may have as a parent.

While a few peeks here and there are innocent and normal, that doesn't mean you want your child doing it all the time. Even the Disney channel has some shows that I do not feel are a very good influence on my 11 year-old daughter. They make out and are disrespectful to their parents which I do not think is a good example for her age. At this time, in my opinion, she needs to be worrying about school and positive sex education.

#3 Condoms or abstinence?

It can be a difficult decision. Hand your child a condom or not give them one at all and tell them not to have sex. While certain religions may feel one way or the other, it is still important to teach your children about safe sex. Whether you teach your children abstinence or you teach them to use a condom, the importance of educating them about various STDs or STIs (check out our extensive list of STDs A-L and STDs M-T. Knowing is a must. You can teach your children abstinence, but that doesn't mean they will follow what you teach. It's important to make sure they are fully aware of the risks of unprotected sex and that all diseases are not curable.

We all hope our children will follow our advice no matter which standpoint we teach them from. From my perspective, the best way to prevent our children from making the wrong choices is by explaining all of the options available and why certain options are safer. We have to fully explain the consequences that can occur if they choose not to follow our advice and it's better to give examples of why. I usually show my children stories on the internet to give them something tangible they can visualize and see for themselves that what I'm telling them is real and my ideas are not just being made up.

As a child I had sex education in school. Unfortunately, many schools have cut sex education out for budgetary reasons, so that is why it falls on the parents even more now. Sex positive parenting isn't always easy, but it doesn't have to be rocket science. Just be yourself and be open and honest with your children to the best of your ability. Remember, when they start asking - start telling, because that means they're ready. While you may not be ready for "the talk", it is a job that must be done. Promoting sex as something positive is the first step to educating your child.

Good luck! As always, with any specific questions, please e-mail us at reply@getlusty.com or me directly and we'll get them answered!

Eileen Prouffe is a GetLusty staff writer with over ten years as a working mom trying to keep her love alive. If she's not having fun with her three kids, she's staring into the eyes of her loving husband. She looks forward to sharing her ideas, tips and knowledge with everyone to help improve relationships and put an end to dull sex lives. Get in touch with Eileen at eileen@getlusty.com.

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